Zim Tzu didn’t lose he just attacked in a different direction

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Zim Tzu didn’t lose he just attacked in a different direction

huangjian123
When a warrior poet heads out on the field of battle Minnesota Vikings Womens T-Shirt , he expects to win. But even the best of them fail, and come up short. When that happens, you retire, lick your wounds, and come out the next time, hungrier and more determined to win than ever.But a stalemate...no one really expects those. A stalemate makes you feel like it was all for nothing. There was no glory in victory, there were no heroic last stands to the last man, no desperate, last ditch gambles that resulted in final victory that will cause other warrior poets to reverently speak of your deeds for all time. But there is some value in a stalemate, although it’s hard to understand at the time. You know you could have won, but you also realize you could have just as easily lost. Lessons are learned, plans are improved, and if you need to sacrifice someone to send a message, then by God that’s just what you’ll do.Because you are Zim Tzu, The King In The North Minnesota Vikings Hats , Nightmare of Clan Fromage, Breaker Of Gold Fever, High Septon Of Eagan, Lord Commander Of The Iron Range And Twin Cities, Master Of Fortress TCO, Honorary Elder Of Mankato and Protector Of The Realm. And when the Great Unwashed want to hear about how you won’t tolerate another stalemate, we swoop in as an intermediary* between you and them. We take what’s actually said, digest it,** then share the true meaning to the masses.****We should never be asked to be the go between for anyone over any dispute. Everyone would end up pissed, shots would be fired, and blood would probably be spilled.**We do nothing of the sort. We completely make all of this up. Well, Zimmer actual press conference quotes are real. Nothing else is. Also you’re living in The Matrix.***There is about as much true meaning to this as there is in the image of Jesus in a piece of toast. With butter.As usual, Zim Tzu had an opening statement.What Zim Tzu meant:/runs hand through hair/sighsFuuuuuuuuccccckkkkk, man. We should’ve won that game. We should’ve lost that game. I hate kickers. Q: What went in to the decision to let Daniel Carlson go?What Zim Tzu meant: LOL are you fucking serious? Did you watch that or did you steal my old eye patches? I would have had more confidence in a fish flopping out there to try and make that kick than I had in Daniel Carlson.Q: Was it an easy decision?What Zim Tzu meant: Yeah, it was pretty easy. Hiding the body will be hard Minnesota Vikings Womens Hoodie , but this was easy.Q: Has the team signed Dan Bailey?What Zim Tzu said: Look, as long as he’s not Lieutenant Dan and has two goddamn legs, we’re signing him. Also, we would sign Lieutenant Dan over Daniel Carlson at this point.Q: Have you felt a little snakebit with kickers during your time here?What Zim Tzu meant: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO why would I? I’ve just gone through more kickers than someone with malaria goes through toilet paper, and none of them can hit water if they fell out of a boat in the middle of Lake Harriet. Q: You said yesterday that you and Rick Spielman were going to sit down and discuss personnel decisions. Was Coach Priefer involved in that conversation, or did you take it out of his hands?What Zim Tsu meant: I told them what the fuck I did after I cut him. I’m sick of this kicker bullshit, man. Between quarterbacks and kickers I think we need to issue them ‘Hi my name is ________’ nametags until they last longer than a Spinal Tap drummer. Man, is this shit ever getting old.Q: Do you wish you had the two sixth round draft picks that you used to move up and select Carlson back?What Zim Tzu meant: LOL Rick will turn those into like 12 seventh round picks and then use those to try and move up and get another kicker. I told him if he does I’ll just kick him in the balls and tell him to knock that bullshit off. And I won’t miss wide right. Q: How does a tie feel the day after? Is it still strange?What Zim Tzu meant: Feels weird. Like accidentally walking in and seeing your Mom and Dad having sex. Weird and gross. I wanted to pour bleach in my eyes to cleanse them. Good God that was awful. I’m going to vomit.Q: You signed a veteran player in wide receiver Aldrick Robinson. Is that just to help your depth at the position, or is that due to Laquon Treadwell’s struggles in yesterday’s game?What Zim Tzu meant: It is 100% due to Laquon Treadwell. Q: What did you like about Robinson when you brought him in for a workout?What Zim Tzu meant: He’s not Laquon Treadwell, and Carolina won’t give us Jarius Wright back. Those fuckers. Q: Have you had a chance to talk to Treadwell? If so, what did you tell him after a difficult game like yesterdays?What Zim Tzu meant: No, or I would have ended his life, and there were too many witnesses at the time. Q: What do you think he was trying to do?What Zim Tzu meant: I think he confused his elbows for his hands. Q: What can players do differently when hitting the quarterback?What Zim Tzu meant: It’s fuckin’ bullshit. We hired a physics professor from Normandale Community College to see if he could help us. He looked at the new rules and said ‘yeah, defenses are fucked. You just can’t re-write the laws of physics. I mean, I’ll try to see if Sir Isaac Newton was an idiot Womens Customized Minnesota Vikings Jerseys , but I’m leaning more to Roger Goodell at this point. But that idiot is well in motion, and he’s going to stay in motion it looks like. Q: Does hitting a quarterback in that legal strike zone actually increase the player’s chances of landing on top of him because of where they are trying to aim?What Zim Tzu meant: FUCK YEAH it does. Explain to me how a player can move off to the side once he’s in the process of tackling an opponent. It’s fucking football, and these are fucking tackles. This rule makes absolutely no sense. It’s like the Cleveland Browns, made into a rulebook.Q: Do you think it needs to go to replay?What Zim Tzu meant: Yes, yes, let’s take something stupid and complicate it further with more stupidity. Do you work for the government or something? Q: How do you think Brian O’Neill did filling in for Rashod Hill?What Zim Tzu meant: Who is this ‘Rashod...Hunt...Hill, did you say? Yeah, never heard of him. Q: Do you feel fortunate that Dan Bailey is available?What Zim Tzu meant: I actually prefer shitting glass whenever our kicker trots out on the field. Really spices things up for me. No, Danny Boy’s gonna get up here, andI’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. Luca Brasi is gonna hold a gun to his head, and I’m going to assure him either his brains or his signature will be on that contract.Q: Special teams as a whole is not where you wanted it, what is your approach moving forward?What Zim Tzu meant: We’re going to institute a new policy this week. Every time we get a punt blocked, I’m going to take a football, and kick it as hard as I can right in to Mike Priefer’s ass. I might not even use a football, and just use my foot. Hope his helicopter pilot’s license is still good www.vikingscheapshops.com , because he might need to life flight his own ass to a hospital if this bullshit keeps up.Q: Did Kirk Cousins show you anything from a competitive standpoint in the fourth quarter that maybe you hadn’t seen before?What Zim Tzu meant: I mean, he played good football from the quarterback position. I know that’s a foreign concept around here for most of the last 40 years minus some notable exceptions, but this is the norm now. Need a clutch throw? Bam. Need a 4th quarter comeback? Boom. Welcome to the new world order. Drink it in, savor it, let it dance on your tongue. Glorious, isn’t it? YOU VIKE THAT? Oh shit, I owe Kirk 20 bucks now. Damn it.Q: Would going from 15 minutes to 10 minutes in overtime change anything?What Zim Tzu meant: Yeah, it meant I didn’t have an extra five minutes to play with. I could’ve fucking kept driving, scored a touchdown, and won without having to trot out Danny Shell Shock to fuck up the end of the game. So we tied. I fuckin’ hate ties. See you next week.Vikings Roster Cuts: Minnesota Vikings release Josh Andrews The roster moves for the Minnesota Vikings continue as they make their way closer to the 3:00 PM Central time roster deadline. They’ve now let go of another offensive lineman as well.Word is coming out that the Vikings have released interior lineman Josh Andrews. The reports are saying that Andrews is being waived with an injury designation, which means that if nobody claims him on waivers he will revert to the Vikings’ injured reserve list.Andrews has been in the league since 2014. He spent his career prior to this season with the Philadelphia Eagles, bouncing back and forth between the practice squad and the active roster. He has played in 13 games over the course of his career. It’s not a surprising move by Minnesota, and it would be a surprise to see him back with the practice squad.We still have plenty of moves to go before the Minnesota Vikings have completed their 53-man roster, and we’ll be tracking all of them for you right here.